Just Getting Harder

Asi sit here writing this I am staring into the eyes of my little baby boy Tristan. Everyday of my life I am so thankful to have him. TristN truly makes my life complete I couldn't ask for aything more. Right now my husband and I are struggling so much with money we have to shut this off, I have a feeling next will be the Internet. Anyways like I said we have been struggling so bad and fighting because of it. I wish that I could find a job but everywhere I apply I never hear back! Then when I do I have to wait cause my sister works there so they have to see if they can hire me . Nothing is easy for us anymore and I don't know just how much more i can take.not only can I not find a job but then when i do get one I have to. Make sure I can find someone to watch Tristan, considering we cnt afford daycare. I just feel like things are never going to look up for us. I'm never going to find a job and then jay and I will end up fighting so much we split up, that's not what I want at all!!! At first I couldn't figure out why we were fighting so much over stupid things like taking care of Tristan but now I know it's cause we are struggling and annoyed about everything!!!! I think I'm stressed staying home taking care of tristan when my husband has to work fifty hours a week and then comes home to help me take care of Tristan he also does laundry well I clean the rest of the house. Somehow though i still bitch about what he does n I do, it's stupid I feel so guilty when I fight with him. I think I'm going to write him an I'm sorry letter and tell him how mu h i appreciate him and everything he does for me.